What is Gaslighting?

What Is Gaslighting? Understanding the Manipulation and Its Lasting Effects

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that deeply impacts its victims by causing them to doubt their own sense of reality, personal memories, and even their sanity. This insidious tactic is often employed by narcissists, toxic parents, controlling partners, or manipulative coworkers, making it a covert but profoundly harmful form of emotional abuse. Gaslighting leaves emotional wounds that can take years to heal and often results in long-lasting psychological scars. If you've ever found yourself feeling as though you're "too sensitive," constantly being told you're "overreacting," or questioning the accuracy of your own memories, there’s a chance you may have experienced the damaging effects of gaslighting.

🔍 What Is Gaslighting?

The term "gaslighting" originates from the 1944 film Gaslight, in which a husband deceitfully manipulates his wife into doubting her own sanity, making her believe she's losing her grip on reality. In the present day, gaslighting has become widely acknowledged within trauma psychology as a destructive emotional abuse tactic that profoundly impacts victims' mental and emotional well-being.

Gaslighting is often used to:

• Undermine your confidence

• Make you doubt your perceptions or memories

• Isolate you from others

• Maintain control in abusive relationships

Common phrases gaslighters use include:

• “You’re too sensitive.”

• “That never happened.”

• “You’re remembering it wrong.”

• “You’re crazy.”

💔 My Personal Journey: When You Become Your Own Gaslighter

For most of my life, I didn’t even realize I was gaslighting myself. Raised by a narcissistic mother who constantly downplayed my accomplishments, devalued my dreams, and rewrote the truth to suit her narrative, I began to internalize her voice as my own. Every time I had an instinct, a feeling, or a dream—I dismissed it, convincing myself it wasn’t valid. I questioned my experiences as if they were unreliable. I told myself it wasn’t that bad, maybe I’m overreacting, or maybe it was my fault, and in doing so, I silenced the truth within me.

I was unknowingly continuing the cycle she started, perpetuating a pattern I didn’t even realize I’d inherited. Her voice became the one in my head, overriding my own inner dialogue, and for years, I truly believed it was my own. It became second nature to me, shaping how I viewed my reality and myself.

It wasn’t until I began doing the deep, difficult inner work—therapy, journaling, self-reflection, and boundary-setting—that I slowly started to piece it all together. I realized: I wasn’t crazy. I was conditioned. I had been living under the weight of someone else’s narrative for so long that I had lost touch with my own truth, my own voice, and my own perspective.

But I took it back, piece by piece—and now I help others do the same, guiding them to reclaim their inner voice and rediscover their strength.

🧠 Psychological Effects of Gaslighting

Gaslighting isn’t merely a communication issue—it’s emotional abuse that can have serious and lasting effects. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, consistent and repeated gaslighting can lead to symptoms resembling those of C-PTSD, including:

• Chronic self-doubt

• Anxiety and depression

• Difficulty making decisions

• Low self-worth

• Emotional numbness

Dr. Robin Stern, author of The Gaslight Effect, explains how victims begin to silence themselves to avoid ridicule. I lived this truth every day—until I learned to listen to myself again. One key step in breaking free from gaslighting is rebuilding self-trust. When you're constantly second-guessing your own feelings and experiences, it becomes almost impossible to make confident decisions. Reclaiming your voice starts with small acts of self-validation, like journaling your thoughts and acknowledging your emotions as real and valid. Over time, those small steps reinforce your inner compass, helping you reconnect with your true self and move forward with clarity and strength.